Today, I spent an excruciating three hours trying to study for a biology exam but couldn't concentrate for some reason. It was only after my mom finished talking on the phone in the next room that I realized her extremely loud conversation had kept me from paying attention for the whole three hours. MBL

Today, my dad spotted a "Got Milk" billboard and exclaimed in delight, "Oh, they are selling goat milk now?" MBL

Today, my dad made me clean both our washrooms , which were extremely dirty, only because , "his mom cleaned his washroom when he was young".MBL

I complained to my father that I had to walk 10 blocks in the cold and he replied: \"when I was your age I walked 20 miles to school everyday in the snow\". He lived in India. MBL.

Today, my dad told me he got an iPod. When I asked him what kind, he responded "Apple." MBL

Today, I told my 3 year old cousin that he smells like poop. He came back at me and said, "teri ma." MBL.

Today my mom asked me for my facebook login so she could panchat about her friends' kids and about all of my cousins by viewing their profiles. I now know the topic for tomorrow's one hour panchat session at the mosque: Sahira's husband's sister's (outline waali) niece's boyfriend. MLID.

Today, my mom asked me if I'm still sad that my favorite basketball player Michael Jackson had passed away. MBL.

Today, my dad told me he likes my friend "Wictor" more than my friend "Vikesh." I never will understand how he can mispronounce Victors name but pronounce Vikeshs name correctly. MBL.

Today, I went to boy scouts camp for the first time. I was getting ready to change into a new pair of underwear and noticed that my mom put my initials on them just in case someone stole them. Who the hell would want to steal my underwear? MBL.

Today, my mom asked me if I hiccuped today since she missed me all day. I lied and said yes because I love my mom. MBL.

Today, my dad forgot how old I was. Instead of just asking me how old I was, he printed out a bullshit sub lease contract and told me I had to fill it out if I wanted to continue living at home. It only asked for my name, gender, and birth date. He didn't even ask for a signature. MBL.

Today, I changed my fat cousins ring tone to the "Hello Moto" motorola tone and called it saying "haha even your phone calls you motu." He got pissed and sat on me. MBL.

Today, my father told me we would go on a family vacation to India. Who the hell vacations in India? MBL.