I'm good friends with the guy who made this website. MBL.

D.S.T. = DESI STANDARD TIME

Today, my wife said to me "Cant you say we've been married for 24 years instead of almost a quarter of a century?" MBL.

Today, I took my sister out to lunch and all I could think about was if she would pay for me or if I would have to pay for her. MBL.

Today I watched "Davinchi Code" with my mom. I've never seen her so confused in my life. MBL.

Today, I realized how cheap my friends are when one of them borrowed my Nike sweats and tried to sell it back to me when I asked for them back. MBL.

Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's? Kumar: No, it's actually one "u" Officer Palumbo: Yeah... bullshit. My name is Kumar and I hear this shit everyday from my white friends. MBL.

"Yo MLID and ISD, I'm gonna let you finish. But MBL is one of the best Indian websites of all time!" - Kanye West

Today, my mom went to Walmart to buy some lettuce but came back with about 10 bags of groceries in her hand and said "I was only suppose to buy the lettuce but I couldn't stop myself." MBL.

Today, my friend called me a "shit fu*k." What the hell is a "shit fu*k?" MBL.

Today I was just spinning my little brothers hat in my hand because I was bored and then my mom sees me and gasps and yells at me " What are you doing? STOP that! your brother will get a headache if you spin his hat like that" and then shes mad at me for the whole day. He didn't get a headache but I got one from all her yelling. MBL

Today, I asked my friend to come with me to the FILL-UMS. MBL.

Today, I accidentally said "it went wery vell." I was born in the US. MBL.

Today, I went to subway and got free chips and a drink because the employee was brown. When I said thank you the lady replied, "Mention not." MBL.

the only two times my parents have watched the oscars have been when lagaan and slumdog were nominated. MBL.

Today, I discovered that my dad recycles his toothpicks. MBL

Today, my father got mad and yelled at a man for doing a U - turn in the middle of the street ... right after he did

Today i was talking to my brown friends. I have pretty light skin, so they start making fun of me for having "white boy" skin. MBL.

Today, my father offered to get me a Corvette if I go into Pre-Med. When I told him I wanted to do business he offered me a Tata. MBL.

Today, instead of being happy that Anoop Desai, a fellow desi, made it far in American Idol, my Paki mother hoped that "Indian baaasturd" would lose. MBL.

Today, my dad made me clean both our washrooms , which were extremely dirty, only because , "his mom cleaned his washroom when he was young".MBL

Today, i realized there are huge gaps between the posting dates. I am guessing it\'s because us browns are too busy studying to be posting stories on the internet? MBL.

Today, my best friend asked me "How park did you far?." MBL.

Today, I looked at all the shirts that my dad wears. All of them had stains of PaanParak. MBL.

Today, my mom got an american flag sticker for my car so people won't think I'm a terrorist. MBL.

Today, we found a way to fit 6 of us in my Toyota Corolla. Can you white people do that? MBL.

Today, my dad taught my little cousin how to swim. He threw him into the pool and watched. It worked. MBL.

Today, my sister asked me how many touchdowns my hockey team scored. MBL.

Today, my friends were making fun of a girl with a mustache. She walked by and they pointed her out. That girl is my sister. MBL.

Today, my white friend asked me if I ever randomly stopped what I was doing and started singing randomly, while all the people around me some how knew all the dance steps and lyrics to my song. MBL.

Today, my dad made a announcement at a family gathering he was going to move to "chi"-cago. MBL

Today, my baby cousin was born. I'm almost 25 years old. I'll be 45 when he's 20. MBL.

Today my mom asked me how school was and I said boring. She proceeded to beat me with a belan at home.MBL

Today, I asked my mom if I could go to a party. Her direct response was, "Where is this 'party sharty' that you are going to?" MBL.

Today, I told my uncle I was going to the NBA. He laughed and said "brown man can't jump." MBL.

Tonight, I got drunk, made out with a guy, and puked all over the floor. Tomorrow, people I don\'t even know will call me a slut. MBL.

Tonight, my mom wouldn't let me finish my english project at night because it required cutting some paper. The project is due tomorrow. She rather have me fail than have bad luck. MBL.

Today, I had a staring competition against the brown lady in the Toyota Camry. She totally blinked first. MBL.

Today, I watched Titanic with my parents and covered my eyes when the red head stripped down naked. I'm 30 years old. MBL.

Today, I checked facebook and saw about 6 friend requests from brown guys located in india and pakistan telling me how pretty I am. Why can't no brown boy from america say the same to me? MBL.

Today, I was walking around my church with my friends and some lady made the "chichh chichh" noise. We all turned around thinking it was our mothers. MBL.

Today, I noticed that I enjoy laughing at other brown peoples brown moments on MBL. MBL.

Today, a random girl comes up to me at school and says, "You're the Daal in my Chavaal.". MBL.

Today my mom hit me with the family curry stick MBL.

Today, my mom tried to convince me eating the brains of an animal makes you smarter. MBL.

2 times in my life I've seen my dad cry: the first was when I told him I had a boyfriend, the second was when I told him I broke up with my boyfriend. The difference: the second was of happiness. MBL

Today, I spent an excruciating three hours trying to study for a biology exam but couldn't concentrate for some reason. It was only after my mom finished talking on the phone in the next room that I realized her extremely loud conversation had kept me from paying attention for the whole three hours. MBL

Today, my mom made me walk back over my sister, because walking over her once would apparently keep her short. MBL.

Today, instead of buying food at movies, my mom brought a big purse of candy and started selling it in the theater. MBL.

Today, instead saying "worry less," my mom told me to "fiqer less." MBL.

Today, a roach got inside the kebobs my mom cooked for me for about a second before she killed it. She still expected me to eat the kebobs. MBL.

Today, while reading a book in my room upstairs, my dad called me on my cell phone to come downstairs to his study. When I got there, he ordered me to pick up the pen he'd dropped and hand it to him. After I'd done so, he dismissed me. MBL

My seemingly uncool brown friend rap battled a black rapper in my school. Needless to say, my brown friend won. MBL

When I was little, my mother used to make pissing noises when she wanted me to pee. She claimed it would magically make me piss even when I didn't want to. It always worked. MBL.

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time the other night when he asked me if I had any protection. Embarrassed, I told him I still had the condoms my previous relationship left but they probably would be too small for him. The condoms engulfed his penis with room to spare. MBL.

Today, I realized that the same hand I use to wipe my ghand is the same hand I use to eat food. MBL.

Today my mom was packing to go visit Pakistan. She packed 2 suitcases, one for her clothes, and the other for candy, shampoo, lotion, spaghetti, perfume, and deodorant to give as gifts to my relatives. Who the hell gives spaghetti as a gift? MBL.

Today at church they announced that the person with the "Toyota Camry" needs to move their car. About half the people got up and went to go check. MBL.

Today, there were 4 dhai cartons in the fridge. None of them contained dhai. MBL.

Today, I told this hot white girl "Once you've had Persian there's no other version." It didn't work. MBL.

The other day, my uncle told me to go get his iPod touch from upstairs. I couldn't find it, so i told him. Infuriated, he went upstairs to find it. he did, and instead of insulting me normally, he called me a "dukkan". It means bottle cap. Who the hell calls their nephew a fricking bottle cap? MBL.

I slept over at my cousin's house to play some games. In the morning my uncle told me to brush my teeth, I told him I forgot my toothbrush, He told me to use my finger with toothpaste. MBL

I showed my mother this website and as she read each of the stories she complained, "i dont get why it is funny" and proceeded to tell me that i misuse my internet privileges.. I am currently posting this 10 mins after my "privileges" were revoked.. she doesnt understand how grounding works yet...

Today, my friend who has been at college for months came to my house to hang out with me. After he left, my mother, with the biggest smile on her face, eyebrows up, and nodding her head up and down commented, "He's getting very "healdy", isn't he?" MBL.

Today, I brought home food from chili's in a to-go box and ate it that night. The next day my mom used the same to-go box to put my lunch in. MBL.

Today, I brought a girl over after the club and told her to be extra quite so she won't wake up my "roommates." My roommates are my parents. MBL.

Today, my father told me we would go on a family vacation to India. Who the hell vacations in India? MBL.

Today, I saw this really cute brown kid in my class. After my teacher called attendance, I immediately got on facebook to find him and contemplated whether or not to add him as a friend. MBL.

Today, my dad forgot how old I was. Instead of just asking me how old I was, he printed out a bullshit sub lease contract and told me I had to fill it out if I wanted to continue living at home. It only asked for my name, gender, and birth date. He didn't even ask for a signature. MBL.

Today, my dad told me he got an iPod. When I asked him what kind, he responded "Apple." MBL

Today, my mom broke a wooden spoon when she was beating me up, and asked for my money to pay for it.MBL

In elementary school, I was always the only Indian in my class. My classmates would ask me to say their name in Hindi once they found out I could speak another language. I would oblige them by pronouncing their names with a thick Indian accent. MBL.

Today, I got an invite for a malu (south indian) flag football tournament. I checked the creators of the group and wasn't surprised to see all their last names as "Thomas." MBL.

Today, my dad brought home a dog from the pound. My mom yelled and ran around in circles, then some how broke the coffee table. The dog didn't even chase her. MBL.

Today, at the movies, my dad looked at a movie poster with al pacino and said, "look, beta, there's al cappucino." He was serious. MBL.

Today I called Dell Support to fix a problem I was having with my laptop. After an hour, the Indian support rep was unsuccessful with solving my problem. Occasionally he would get frustrated with me and start calling me a "bevakoof gandu" to his co-worker thinking I was an American. Yeah I ratted his ass out, got him fired, and got me a brand new Dell laptop. Whose the "bevakoof gandu" now you chod face? MBL.

Today, my friend asked me what my favorite tv channel was. Instead of saying Z-TV, I accidently said "Zed-TV." MBL.

Today my mom texted me saying "Hey bata, cell me." I think she said trying to say, "Hey beta, call me." MBL.

Today I visited Indian for the first time in six years. We rode in an auto-rickshaw and I accidentally dropped my phone, when I looked down to pick it up I realized that I was looking at the road whizzing beneath us, so much for the phone. When I confronted my parents about the matter when we got back they gave me the land line and said \\\"Here, we can now listen to who you call.\\\" I now email all my friends. MBL.

Today I caught my mom red handed. She stole the towels from the hotel we stayed at. MBL.

Today, my mom called me 4 times in the span of an hour asking where I was and when I would come home. I'm 24 years old. MBL.

Today, my family went to a restaurant where they offered free refills on drinks. My dad ordered one drink and 6 empty glasses. MBL.

Today, I put aside about 20 old shirts to donate that I knew I would never wear. Tonight I come back and see that my mom decided to keep 10 of my shirts for herself, put 5 back in my closet for me to wear, and used 2 as cleaning rags. Totaling only 3 shirts that I will donate. MBL.